17 January, 2009

Paxil, please

It's official - I have the winter blues. This is evidenced by my uncontrollable alligator tears and lack of energy to do anything, including leaving my apartment. In an effort to process, I've determined this momentary show of emotion could potentially be due to a few things:

1) I started suffering from an acute sinus infection last Saturday, was officially diagnosed on Wednesday and have been taking 3 different brick-sized pills a day since then. I have essentially been in a drug-induced haze for 3 days. Yes, clouds have filled my head and I can hardly think.

2) Toronto is in the middle of a weeklong arctic blast. My cracked, ashen flesh is showing serious signs of cellular degeneration. Today, I triple-wrapped myself in North Face, gave myself an impromptu latte-steam facial and almost sawed off my gangrene-plauged limbs in desperation. Combine the sinus infection with the face blistering extreme temps and you have a recipe for disaster. I have not ventured outside in 3 days. Now I see why Jack Nicholson went nuts in "The Shining". My mouth was so dry when I woke up this morning, despite my industrial-strength humidifier, that it felt like someone had shoved in 87 bales of cotton. I could hardly swallow and had to moisten up my hole with a Catholic-family sized gallon of water. Even the birds are looking for a warm place to park their feathers (see photo below).

Please God - make it stop.

Proof of the cold (it's on TV, so it must be true)

The poor birds

The frozen wasteland


Me trying to stay warm (note the red, chapped visage)

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